STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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