i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm too high and old for this...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
