Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
