Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
