you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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