...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
