$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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