lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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