i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
