I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize