You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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