I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
