He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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