Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
