the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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