I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
