take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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