is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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