exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize