i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
