a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
