A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
