if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
