Buhtt sex?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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