think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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