Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
