Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
