Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
