Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
birth control should be required to get into college
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
