i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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