if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Drake has all the answers
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
