At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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