Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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