well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
