let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
