My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
