my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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