You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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