i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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