i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Swine flu. Run for my life!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
