Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hippo gnu deer
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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