I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
