Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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