Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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