i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
