I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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