Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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