hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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