ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
