She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
