just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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