drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
