Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
