question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
