I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
