this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
