omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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