I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
