guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
