Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
