Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
