Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize