she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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