I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
